I’ve made it. I’m officially considered full term at 37 weeks! I cannot believe that in the next couple weeks this baby girl can make her debut whenever she feels like it. I thought that before she decides to pop, it would be a good time to look back over the last 8 months and reflect on this long GD journey.
As you know (or if you don’t), I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 15 weeks pregnant. It’s been a frustrating and confusing journey, but now that I’m at the end, I have seemed to finally figure out what works and what doesn’t. My fasting numbers are finally UNDER 90! And I’m so glad that I advocated for myself when my endocrinologist wanted to put me on insulin around 24 weeks. My fasting numbers were hardly ever close to 100 and I just really questioned how necessary it was to be so strict by keeping them under 90, while many other women with this diagnosis could be under 100 or under 95, per their doctors’ offices. It just proved to me that there are so many gray areas to this and for my office to be so strict seemed like more of a liability issue than anything else. I stuck to my guns and my hormones have figured their shit out on their own. There’s no shame in taking insulin at all, but I was GD determined to be diet controlled if it were possible and I’m proud to say I have accomplished that! A huge bonus to staying diet controlled is that I really didn’t gain much weight up until this point. But don’t worry baby mommas, my feet and hands got me lookin’ like the Michelin Man these days. I am hopeful, however, that after this babe comes out and I get to stuff my pie hole with the list of foods I have going in the notes on my phone, I will be able to stay on track and shed this baby and water weight quicker than I originally thought I could.
But first and foremost… someone feed this inner fat kid dying to fall into a happy, grease and sugar-filled food coma before she explodes.
It’s been manageable without these things for sure… and I actually don’t really care for that much sugar any more, which is a great thing. Who knows… I might not even want to binge on half these things once I have one or two. But the days I’ve been ravenous or emotional have been tough because I haven’t been able to turn to food for comfort- something I believe all pregnant women should be able to enjoy. Those days were hard. Weekends where all my husband or friends wanted to do was go to breweries/ out for drinks has been hard… I friggan miss beers!! And enjoying them with people. But overall, my 9 month sobriety sentence hasn’t been so bad. I definitely don’t miss the hangovers!
Pregnancy is pretty lonely sometimes though. Anyone who hasn’t gone through it doesn’t know and those who have- been there done that and are now onto the next stage of busy-ass motherhood. I’m not saying I haven’t gotten support when I asked, it’s just a pretty personal journey that’s hard to explain… and it can feel like you’re on your own island sometimes.
Luckily I have an amazing husband who has been my support and best friend through it all. He reads the week to week pregnancy updates on whattoexpect.com, he helps my beached whale ass get up off the couch and sometimes out of bed to pee at 3am and gets my nightly bedtime snack for me. He listens to me bitch about the constant shooting pain in my vagina (aka lightening crotch), my itchy skin, my inability to roll over in bed normally, the fact that I’m bored but too tired and sore to do anything and my salami nipples. He deals with my roller coaster of emotions, sometimes lack of conversation and my pregnant farts. Look, pregnancy is not glamorous and I am NOT the one to make you believe that it is. Sure, the whole concept is pretty amazing and the kicks are cool… but in my honest opinion, it ain’t very pretty or fun. Im grateful that my body has carried it so well, but I can’t wait to get this child out of me and be able to get up off the couch in less than 30 seconds without yelling FUCK! and waddling across the floor like a penguin.
All of the glitz and glamor aside, we cannot wait to meet our little girl and move on to the next chapter. I can’t wait to see what she looks like and hold her in my arms. I can’t wait to see the awesome daddy Mike will be and how our lives will change. I know there will be many more emotions, shitty pants, sleepless nights, worry and anxiety… but I also know there will be so much love and joy to be had. I can’t wait for the days that are to come… and I know once she’s here I will learn to appreciate the long GD journey it took to get here even more.