…and no, I don’t mean God Damn.

I mean the Gestational Diabeetus and I figure it’s time to share my first full week experience with you all! Hang on tight, it’s going to be fun… damental… well, because GD is LAME AF.

If anything, I think it’s interesting to know what goes on… a lot of people don’t even know what it all means and maybe I can help someone out who was just diagnosed, too.

To say the first week has been frustrating is a little bit of an understatement. I have to prick my fingers 4 times a day- right when I wake up to check fasting numbers, then 2 hrs. after breakfast, 2 hrs. after lunch and 2 hrs. after dinner. For food, I count carbs, which I find to be pretty easy and straight-forward, as I have done it before when trying to change to a healthier lifestyle, AKA- dieting. So, I get 45g of carbs per meal and 15g of carbs for snacks. Technically, I am supposed to have 3 meals and 3 snacks a day… I usually miss the after lunch snack and sometimes after breakfast. Basically, this is all I think about all damn day. My fasting numbers have to be under 95 and after meals- under 120. For those who have diabetes in every day life, you probably know these are PRETTYYYY low numbers to achieve, BUT- iT’s FoR tHe BaAaByYYy… (pain in my ass already and it ain’t even here yet!)

My fasting numbers have been hard to control so far. I am almost always over my target of <95, but only by a couple points. I have to have a bed time snack, which I ain’t complaining about, but I have yet to figure out what will keep my number low throughout the night and prevent my body from dumping more glucose into my blood stream. Last Saturday morning included a complete meltdown, snot show when I tested and it was 100. It’s infuriating to feel like you’re eating, or at least trying to eat, all the right things and still wake up with a number over your target. It has only been one week, but if I consistently keep going over, I will have to be put on insulin and I just really don’t want that. I know it will only help, but I’d prefer to just be diet and exercise controlled. I can only hope and pray my body will cooperate.

Here is my log from the past week, just to give you all an idea of what my numbers are looking like and the food I’m eating.

lol at the tiny blood stains already…..

I will say one great thing about this- CHEESE IS GOD. Cheese saves lives. Cheese helps my blood sugar immensely. When in doubt, get the cheese out! Which is great, because I LOVE CHEEEEZ. It’s the only thing I have found that can potentially help my fasting numbers best. Cheesy eggs, cheesy veggies, cheesy cheese.. I’m down wit it.

So, anyway, I have to send this log weekly to my Endocrinologist, which is why I try to be pretty detailed. I haven’t met her yet, since I am still switching everything over to Emerson Hospital from Leominster Hospital but I did get to meet one of the midwives last week! She was awesome, thank GAWD, and I’m excited to work with her and the others. She said from what she sees in my log so far, it looks pretty good and she shared some fun info with me like this little FUN FACT: no one even knows what your fasting numbers should be, they- IDK… the Diabetes people- just pick a low number to be at. BUT if I am consistently over, they’ll put me on insulin. Talk about annoying. So it doesn’t matter, but it does. Fucking eye roll. As if pregnancy in general isn’t a confusing fucking whirlwind of emotions, swollen limbs/boobs/face and exhaustion anyway. Fuck you placenta for putting out more hormones than my body can handle. You suck a big one.

OH! and here’s my handy- dandy finger-prickin’ kit I get to bring with me everywhere I go!

For my day job, I am a wedding photographer. I knew shooting my first wedding with this diagnosis was going to be next to impossible to keep my numbers low. As you can see in my log, my after dinner # was 145 on 6/21- my first wedding of the summer season and since I’ve been diagnosed. I didn’t have time for lunch or to check my sugar midday… so, I am not sure how that’s going to work out the rest of the season. But when I got home, I ate some cheese and crackers and went to bed, then woke up with the lowest numbers I’ve had so far! Even though I probably had too many carbs at dinner, I really think my number was high from lack of food and dehydration. BUT WHO TF KNOWS! It’s confusing as fuck, man. I don’t get it.

It’s definitely not the worst thing in the world, guys… I know that. But holy shit, it is annoying. I have 5 more months of this since they tested me so early. A lot of women aren’t diagnosed until they reach late 20-30 weeks. Sure, it’s good they caught it early… but man I wish they hadn’t. Everyone I’ve spoken with seems really confused as to why I was even tested so early… BUT sigh… it is what it is- I will get through it. As long as I try my best to eat well and at the very least take a brisk walk when I can… I should be able to keep it under control. While being fat, happy and lazy sounds way better than being active and restricting my diet, I know it’s for the best and it’s time to really get my ass in gear.

If you need me, I’ll just be over here, bleeding from my fingers, praying to the diabeetus gods to keep my numbers low and continuing my sweet and savory love affair with all forms of (yes, crazy moms, pAsTuRiZeD…) CHEEEESE.