You take the test and you get those two thin blue lines- holy shit… you’re pregnant!
It’s an exciting and terrifying realization… your life is about to change, quicker than you even imagined it would. However, I felt like nobody told me just how much fun the first trimester IS NOT… so let me be the one to let you in on my reality….
Not long after I took the test did I start feeling the effects of the little alien growing inside me. It was really wild to feel my body changing so quickly. I am already an emotional person in general, add some of those embryo-cell hormones in there and hot damn, you better buckle your seat belts! I didn’t notice how much it was taking a toll at first, until one evening Mike and I were getting ready for bed…
We had brushed our teeth, put on jammies, tucked our sweet pup Griffy into his crate and climbed into bed. Mike turned on the TV and we snuggled up to settle in for the night…. all was well…. until….. a sudden fart attack ensued. You see, one of the many lovely side effects of pregnancy is stanky ass, loud MF farts. Sorry not sorry. I couldn’t help it and MAN, they were pretty bad. Mike’s reaction and faces were enough to send me into a complete crying-laughing shit fit. My face hurt, my belly hurt and tears were building up in my eyes. It was uncontrollable. And as soon as I stopped laughing, like a flip of a switch, I started actually BAWLING. I felt anxious, I felt indescribably sad and confused. I looked at my husband, face red, full of snot and tears, and he had no idea what to do for me and I had no idea what I needed either. HOLY HORMONES, Batman. He got me a cold cloth and a I finally settled down and went the fuck to sleep. Sorry, Michael. I love you.
That was the only time my hormones sent me into complete orbit like that, thankfully… but that’s not to say they didn’t effect me daily. Your first trimester is a whole lot of “I’m fucking tired, I’m fucking sore, I’m fucking nauseous, I’m fucking sad for no reason and lookie here… I’m at that weird stage of ‘um, is Meg pregnant or just growing a FUPA from all those chicken nuggets she eats?” Nah, fam. Just pregnant this time. Then your clothes start to not fit and jeans are the fucking DEVIL (world’s most uncomfortable things on the planet while growing humans. Leggings and dresses FTW!) You start to get salami nipples and hormonal acne and your boobs hurt. I felt really bored and lonely a lot but I couldn’t do anything for longer than an hour. I started to miss drinking, especially on the weekends.. and I still do because- summer and drinking on patios is my all time favorite activity. I tried going to breweries with Mike an his friend just to get out of the house, but sitting there drinking my Pixie Lights Polar Seltzer while they had flights of ice cold beer left me incredibly bored, sad and unfulfilled. I would try to get projects done around the house, but 15 minutes of cleaning left me exhausted. I couldn’t get out of my own damn way and it was fucking annoying.
Navigating through the hormones with my husband was difficult at first… he didn’t really seem to understand that his life was changing just as much as mine was just yet. I needed extra help around the house, I needed a teammate to help me get shit done and support on the really bad days and through the laughing/crying/farting attacks. He really did try his best most days, but on others, I think he had enough. Understandable, but so did I. I couldn’t WAIT to get out of the first trimester. I truly feel SO MUCH respect for the women who are puking all day or have other serious complications, but you know, someone is ALWAYS going to have it ‘worse’ than you. While I’m so grateful I didn’t have it worse, the hormones and exhaustion alone were enough to make me loathe those first few months.
I’m also so grateful to have made it past the first trimester with an otherwise healthy baby, even with the new diabeetus issue, but maaaan- growing a baby is hard MF work… no matter what you’re experiencing those first few months. Like I said, someone will always have it worse but all you have to worry about is YOUR OWN and you should be confident in that no matter what you’re feeling, you are validated. It’s ALL hard and its only going to get harder in different ways. But speak on it… talk about it… let it all out- farts, snots, tears, uncontrollable laughter, peeing a little when you sneeze and all. And make sure you have the support and love of someone close to you. They might not get it at first, especially if they’re male, but they will come around as long as you speak UP about your needs and feelings.
And at the very least, even when you’re hating life for the first few months, the ugly side of shit always makes for funny stories to tell the grandkids!